


Next Time

by amairylle



Series: Daisuga Week 2017 [4]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2017-07-20
Packaged: 2018-12-04 18:28:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11560881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amairylle/pseuds/amairylle
Summary: Day 5 | Secrets/Truth“What are you angsting about?” Suga asks, reaching over to steal a bite of Daichi’s lunch.Daichi yanks his bento away. “I’m not angsting. I’m reasonably worried with real justification for it.”Suga giggles. “So you are angsting.” He reaches over and, despite Daichi’s best efforts, steals another bite. “What’s going on? Is it the practice match?”“Eat your own!” Daichi slams the lid on his lunch in the hopes of having a conversation without distractions. “I’m worried about you.”“I’m not even playing in the match, Daichi.” Suga brushes him off, giving Daichi a playful tap on the nose. “Shouldn’t you be worried about yourself? Or our new players?"





	Next Time

“We’ll make it next time.”

Daichi never says anything he doesn’t mean. When they lose, at practice matches, Interhigh, at the Spring Tournament, and he tells his teammates that they’ll make it next time, he believes that they will. He takes notes on how they did, figures out how they can improve, does his best to ensure that when next time comes, his team will be ready. He’s done this since his first year, promising Suga and Asahi that they’d make it to nationals together, then his underclassmen, then the upperclassmen who accepted his leadership when Coach Ukai Sr. left the second time. And still they lost over and over and over.

Daichi is captain now. Daichi is running out of “next times.”

* * *

“I really think we can do it this year,” Suga says, echoing Daichi’s own thoughts back to him. They’re walking home from the 3-on-3 where Kageyama and Hinata earned their place on the team. “I mean, did you see that quick?”

Daichi chuckles, heart still pounding. “I can’t believe Hinata had his eyes closed that whole time.”

“I know! It was just so—” Suga grasps at empty air, As if he could grab the right adjective like Hinata had hit the ball. “I couldn’t do that if I wanted to,” he says finally. His smile doesn’t reach his eyes.

Daichi looks at him. “Are you okay?”

“Hm? Yes, I’m fine.”

Daichi raises an eyebrow. “You don’t sound it.”

“I’m fine, Daichi!” Suga gives Daichi’s arm a shove. “I’m intimidated, definitely, and it’s weird to be intimidated by your juniors. He’s doing things that I’m not sure are even within my capabilities.”

Daichi waits. Suga’s leaving something unsaid.

“He’s not the only one, though. Can you imagine being as fast as Hinata? Or jumping as high? Or being as tall as Tsukishima?” Suga laughs, shaking his head. “I can’t wrap my mind around it.”

Daichi frowns, giving Suga a glance. That wasn’t what he’d expected to hear. “Having a bunch of strong first years is really going to change things,” he says. “You’re right about that. Getting a coach would help too, though.”

“Take-chan is working on that, don’t worry.” Suga gives Daichi a pat on the shoulder as they walk up to the street where they part ways. “My parents aren’t home until later, do you want to come over?” Suga asks, with a certain eyebrow waggle.

Daichi blushes. “Yeah, definitely,” he says.

Suga responds with a grin, wide and bright and just a bit naughty. Daichi lets Suga take him home, take him upstairs, and kiss him until he forgets that something might be wrong.

* * *

Suga and Daichi have been together since their first Spring Tournament. Neither of them had gotten to spend much time on the court, even with the third years gone. Suga was called in as a pinch server twice, but Daichi had gotten to play for almost a full set, thanks to one of the other wing spikers landing badly and getting a sprained ankle.

Daichi had taken the loss particularly hard. Suga had been sent to look for him so that the bus could leave, and found him curled into himself on the floor in the bathroom, crying. “I couldn’t do anything,” he muttered. “I’ve been working so hard and it was all meaningless.”

Suga sat down next to him and put an arm around him. “It wasn’t your fault,” he said, uncharacteristically soft. “Everyone who was on that court shares the responsibility.”

Daichi leaned into his best friend. “I feel like everyone else contributed more than I did.”

“You contributed everything you could.” Suga ran his fingers over Daichi’s sweat-damp hair. “We’re a team. No one expected you to win this game by yourself.”

“I did.”

Suga flicked his forehead. “Then you were a big dummy. There’s a reason there are six players.”

“Mmmm.” Daichi’s forehead stung, but he couldn’t bring himself to move to rub the pain out.

Suga frowns. “Stop moping.”

“That’s easy for you to say.”

Suga giggled. “I’m also moping, silly, I just don’t feel the need to be overly dramatic about it.”

Daichi leaned back and stared at Suga. “I am not being overdramatic,” he said, offense bringing the tone back into his voice.

“You are!” Suga laughed, louder this time, and pushed Daichi’s head back so that it was cradled against Suga’s shoulder again. “And because I think you’re cute I’m going to let you be overdramatic for another two minutes, even.”

It took Daichi a moment to process this. “You think I’m cute?”

“Yup.” Suga went back to petting Daichi’s hair. “I don’t spend all my time staring at you for nothing.”

Daichi blinked. “Oh.”

“Mhm.”

“…Wait, you spend time staring at me?”

Suga flicked him again. “Sawamura, you are wasting valuable moping time. We can talk about this later.”

“Later” happened the next day, when Suga sat down with Daichi and they compared notes from the inter-high. Daichi was delighted to find out that Suga was equally observant as him, if not more so. Daichi was equally delighted to find out what Suga’s mouth tasted like when he kissed it.

* * *

When Daichi thinks of volleyball, he thinks of Suga. Volleyball is always about the team, always about the connections you make with the other players, and that’s what he and Suga are: a team. A team within a team. After the two of them started dating, Suga would join Daichi to brainstorm. Suga has excellent game sense, and is often a better observer than Daichi. He has to be: as the setter, he has to notice everything. Together, they shaped their team, fighting forward, trying to pull the resources to succeed out of thin air. Suga assured Daichi time and again that they shared a passion for the sport, and that despite certain setbacks regarding their ace and their libero, Suga really thought they could make it this year. He’s excited to be their starting setter. By all accounts, he should be running head-first into this year. He isn’t.

Daichi keeps those thoughts to himself, and watches as Suga pulls back from volleyball instead. Suga is still present at practice, physically, but something about him isn’t quite there. It eats at Daichi all through the school day, and into the afternoon. Suga, being Suga, notices by lunchtime, and confronts him about it as soon as they’ve sat down under their tree.

“What are you angsting about?” he asks, reaching over and stealing a bite of Daichi’s lunch.

Daichi yanks his bento away. “I’m not angsting. I’m reasonably worried with real justification for it.”

Suga giggles. “So you are angsting.” Despite Daichi’s best efforts, he snags another bite. “What’s going on? Is it the practice match?”

“Eat your own!” Daichi slams the lid on his lunch in the hopes of having a conversation without distractions. “I’m worried about you.”

“I’m not even playing in the match, Daichi.” Suga brushes him off, giving Daichi a playful tap on the nose. “Shouldn’t you be worried about yourself? Or our new players? Hinata seems pretty nervous about playing a powerhouse school.”

Daichi gives Suga his best exasperated look, complete with slumped shoulders and a sigh. “I’m not talking about the match. Or maybe I am. You tell me.”

“What do you mean?” Suga tilts his head.

“You seem out of it.” Daichi leans back against the tree. “Like something’s bothering you.”

Suga makes a noncommittal noise. “Well, I have been giving the practice match a lot of thought, but I wouldn’t say anything’s really bothering me at the moment.”

Daichi studies Suga carefully: he's leaning against the tree, looking up into the branches. There isn't a tense muscle in his body, and when he runs his hand through his hair, it's slow and gentle. Daichi isn't convinced. "Are you sure?" he asks.

Suga laughs. "Of course I'm sure, Daichi." He turns and makes eye contact. "I'm fine, I promise. My biggest concern is this week's math test."

Daichi groans and lets his head fall against the tree trunk. "Why are you concerned," he whines, dragging a hand down his face. "Math is your best subject."

"I know!" Suga chirps, A bright grin on his face. "But it's your worst. And it'd look so bad if the captain of the volleyball team started failing his classes."

"That's a low blow, Suga."

Suga giggled. He throws an arm around Daichi. "I'll tutor you. I always tutor you; it'll be fine."

Daichi drops his head on Suga's shoulder. "Thanks, Suga."

* * *

That night, after the practice match, Daichi calls Suga to strategize. He doesn't pick up. After five calls, Daichi throws his phone across the room, cracking the screen.

* * *

Daichi corners Suga before class. "Are you going to talk to me?"

"About last night?" Suga won’t meet his eyes. 

Daichi throws up his hands. "Yes, Suga, about last night."

Suga shrugs. "I was busy with family, it's not a big deal." His tone is light, but his neck is tense.

"I don't believe you." Daichi crosses his arms.

Suga lifts his head and stares Daichi down. "I need you to." He turns away.

Daichi reaches for him, but Suga shrugs out of reach. "Suga…"

"I just… I need you to." There’s something broken in Suga’s voice and Daichi’s heart. Suga slips into the classroom.

"…Okay." Daichi says, to the empty hallway.

* * *

True to his word, Daichi backs off. He stops needling Suga every chance he gets, and lets Suga be. In truth, Daichi is busy enough doing what he can to convince Noya and Asahi to come back, but he still spends almost a week watching Suga out of the corners of his eyes.

It's torture.

They still work as a team, seamlessly, without consulting each other. Daichi talks to Noya, tries to convince him to return, and Suga does the same to Asahi. But Daichi is trying to bring is team together, fit all the pieces into place, like he always has, like they always have. The more Daichi watches Suga, the more he thinks that Suga doesn't consider himself to be one of the necessary pieces.

It makes Daichi want to scream, want to tear his own hair out. Suga has always been necessary. Suga will always be necessary. So what if they have a genius setter now? Suga's not worse, he's different. And Kageyama can't match Suga's experience or his ability to connect to the team.

At the top of the stairs, Daichi freezes. Kageyama. He has to be the reason Suga's pulling back.Does Suga really think that they'll replace him? He turns around and he stalks back towards the clubroom, brushing past Tsukishima and Yamaguchi, past Kinnoshita. He throws the clubroom door open, and it hits the wall with a bang, making everyone inside flinch.

"I need everyone to leave for a moment," Daichi says.

Tanaka looks up at him, his jaw slack. "Uh, Daichi-san." He gestures at his half-naked body. "Can we get dressed first?"

"Uh." Daichi blushes. He looks over at Suga, whose shirt is half-off.

Suga nods. "I'll be right out," he says. "We can talk later."

"Hey, hey," Tanaka crows, "trouble in paradise?"

Suga and Daichi fix him with identical glares. Tanaka squeaks, and pulls on his clothes faster than Daichi has ever seen him do so in his life. It makes him smirk and Suga snicker.

"You know we have practice now," Suga says, after the clubroom empties.

"It's important." Daichi worries the hem of his shirt, making cautious eye contact with Suga for the first time all week.

Suga closes his eyes and sighs. "If it's that important, then don't you think it can wait until we have enough time to talk about it thoroughly?" He drops his head to rub at the bridge of his nose.

"Please, Suga.” Daichi takes a step closer, finally in Suga’s space again. “I know you're avoiding something and avoiding me and… I'm scared."

Suga snaps his head up and stares at Daichi, his jaw slack and his eyes wide. "You're…I'm so sorry, Daichi."

Daichi's blood freezes in his veins. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means I'm sorry for scaring you," Suga says. 

"Okay."

They stare at each other until Suga breaks eye contact to chew on his bottom lip, his warring thoughts visible in his furrowed brow. "We'll talk after practice," he whispers. "I promise."

Nodding, Daichi whispers back, "Okay."                                                        

* * *

So many things fall into place for Karasuno that day at practice. They get a coach, at least for now. They get Asahi and Noya back, to stay. They get Kageyama and Hinata working together more smoothly than before, giving them a truly formidable decoy and a setter who can bring out the best in him.

A few things fall into place for Daichi in particular, as well.

Daichi finds that knowing Kageyama's skills are intimidating enough to make Suga pull back from volleyball doesn't make it easier to hear that Suga thinks that Kageyama is a better fit for the team, and that he's been carrying their match with Dateko with him just as much as Asahi and Noya have, if not more so. It also doesn't make it any easier to hear that Suga might quit anyway.

"Wait," Daichi says, putting his tea down on his dresser. They're at his house, taking advantage of his parents' late work schedules to have this conversation where no one will interrupt. "What do you mean, you might still quit?!" Daichi fights to keep his voice even, staring wide-eyed at Suga.

Suga won't meet his eyes. Again. "I guess... today just confirmed a lot of things that I've already been thinking."

"Like what." Daichi's hands start to shake and he balls them into fists. There's no answer Suga can give that he'll agree with, but he wants to hear them anyway, to break down Suga's fallacious reasoning piece by piece until Suga agrees to stay.

"The skill gap between us is too great. Asahi's an incredible ace, Daichi. He needs a setter that can break down the blocks for him. And I don't think I could ever do what he does with Hinata." Suga takes a sip of his tea and sighs, his shoulders slumping. "It makes sense for me to leave. I won't be here next year, and it makes sense for the team to get used to that now, when there's no way I'll be playing in the inter-high anyway."

Daichi's jaw drops. He reaches out to hug Suga or to shake some sense into him or  _ something, _ but he can't make himself. He lets his hands fall back into his lap and digs his fingernails into his thighs. "How long did it take for you to convince yourself of that?" he asks, softly.

Suga whips his head around to gape at Daichi. Now, Daichi can see that he's holding back tears. "What do you mean, 'convince myself?'” he spits. “It's the truth." His voice cracks on the last word.

"Like hell it is," Daichi hisses.

Suga shakes his head. "Daichi, please don't do this."

"Do you honestly think that you're only useful to this team if you're our setter?" Daichi’s growling now. Outside, the wind picks up, rattling the shutters. Rain starts to fall.

"I want you to win." Suga looks down, his shoulders shuddering. "More than I want to play, I want you to win. I want everything you've worked for to come together and I want you to go to nationals and—" Suga sobs. He tilts his head back and looks up at the ceiling as if that will stop the tears from falling. "When I see the team take the Inter-high and go on to nationals, I'm not there. Because I can't lead us there."

Daichi digs his fingernails in deeper. "We."

"What?"

"We. Everything we've worked for. Fuck, Suga, I don't know if I would have made it this far without you." Daichi's voice wavers, and tears well in his eyes too. He doesn't wipe them.

Around his mug of tea, Suga's knuckles go white. "Daichi don't say that."

"Did you just forget everything you do for this team? For me?" Daichi reaches up and pulls Suga into a hug. When Suga's mug hits the floor with a thump and Suga buries his face in Daichi's shoulder, he hugs Suga tighter.

Suga wails.

"You are always an important member of this team, on the court or off," Daichi whispers into his hair.

"Don't say that!" Suga sobs. "There's nothing I can do!"

"Yes there is!" Daichi pulls back so Suga has to look at him. "Position wise, there's pinch server. Your serves are incredible and a total pain to receive. A second setter is never a bad thing to have either. There are plays we can only pull off with two setters,” he says. “Kageyama is young and inexperienced and clearly carrying some baggage. We need a backup setter, an experienced setter with a cool head who knows the team and the players.” He gives Suga a single purposeful shake. “That setter is you."

Suga sniffs. "I'm not good enough for that."

Daichi pulls him close again. "That's fine," he murmurs into Suga’s hair. "I love spiking your tosses, but I think that your best asset in volleyball is your eyes and your brain. We've improved so much because of things you noticed. Things you told us to try." Daichi draws gentle circles at the nape of Suga’s neck. "Besides," he says, "there's a reason there are six players on the court at a time. No one's expecting you to do everything yourself."

The rain picks up, hitting Daichi's windows in sheets. Suga holds onto Daichi so tightly that his nails dig in and weeps and weeps and weeps. Daichi gives in too, his tears leaving dark spots in Suga’s hair.

"I'm sorry," he says, finally, wiping his eyes on the sleeve of Daichi's shirt.

"It's okay," Daichi replies. "They intimidate me too, you know."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Hinata's jump is something else, and with his determination and Kageyama's toss, he's set to be a better spiker than I ever will be." Daichi sighs. "Knowing that hurts."

"It does." Suga leans back and frowns, poking mournfully at his overturned teacup with his toe.

Daichi picks his own cup off the dresser and passes it to Suga. "What do you want to do now?" he asks.

Suga takes the cup. "I want to play," he says, taking a sip. "Eugh, not enough milk."

Daichi smirks. "You shouldn't have dropped yours, then."

Suga sticks his tongue out at Daichi. "I want to play," he repeats. "I want to spend as much time on the court as possible, but the best way to do that is for us to win, and I really don't think we'll win with me as our setter, but I still want to spend as much time on the court as possible." His shoulders slump again.

Daichi nods. "Then fight for it."

"What?" Suga tilts his head. "What do you mean?"

"Fight for your time on the court. Fight to get better at setting, at serving." He caresses Suga's cheek. "You're a better player than you think you are. Fight to be here. We'll all be fighting for nationals, so fight with us, and I'm sure you'll get to play."

"You think so?" Suga asks. The ghost of a smile on his face.

Daichi nods. "I know what you're capable of. So, fight with me, like I know you can, and I'm sure you'll get to play."

"Okay." Suga nods, his voice stronger than it has been anytime in the last week. "I will."

* * *

"You fought on equal ground with Seijoh," Coach Ukai tells Suga.

Daichi should be getting ready to finish the set with his team, with Kageyama as setter, but he spares an ear to listen to Ukai and Suga's conversation anyway.

"Well," Suga says brightly, "all our guys are really strong!"

"But you know…" Ukai looks away, and Suga nods, waiting. "Next time, you can use the center more aggressively.

Daichi hears Suga gasp. "Yes!" Suga yells. "Thank you very much!" he bows, and runs off to join the team.

Daichi grins, and goes on to win a set that wouldn't have been possible without Suga, confident that, this time, they both know it. Confident that next time, they’ll both do even better.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! 
> 
> I never write in present tense, so if anyone sees places where I mucked up the tenses, please let me know! 
> 
> Come say hi to me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/amairylle) or [Tumblr!](https://amairylle.tumblr.com)


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